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Oct 13

Sex and Purity

Posted by admin2  filed under Sex and Purity   0 Comment(s)    Add a Comment  comment-icon.png

Sex – Such an awkward topic- Why? Because society has corrupted it! Someone told me one time that sex shouldn’t be discussed in church. It’s not the place for it! My response was – “But it should be discussed everywhere else right?”

God created Sex – We should and need to talk about it here in His presence! God created sex but it has rules! Sex is between 2 People after and during marriage only!

Sex belongs to God! It was created by him, and for him. It is not ours to do what we will with it when we want to.

Are you pure when it comes to your relationship?

Is your standard purity?

Let me ask it like this:

Is your standard in your relationship reflecting God?

Whether it is in your dating, courting, or in your marriage. Are you pure in your relationship? In everything you say, think, and do? 

How about in the way you raise your kids, manage your finances, spend your alone time? What about the private screen play of your mind?

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

3It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;

What is another phrase for HOLY? – Set apart!

You are called to be set apart by God, for His divine purpose.

We do not recognize this because our minds are in 1 place and our hearts are in another.

There is no unity with Christ between our thoughts and actions.

God intended for us to have awesome intimacy with our spouses. Intimacy includes: Nakedness, openness, vulnerability, and yes…Sex!

The nakedness, openness, vulnerability are not only the physical but also the mental and spiritual – it’s called ONENESS!

You cannot achieve oneness outside of God’s design!

Sex is not a game – It is not trophy collecting – Sex does not dictate your social class – It does not initiate you into manhood or womanhood.

Here is how I define sex – It is the spoken word of God in action. 2 becoming 1!

Genesis 2:24-25

24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

25The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

When we engage in sex outside of marriage two things happen:

1 – The world says it is OK.

2 – God is disobeyed and shunned.

His own creation took what He has created and has used it to their own liking.

Ladies – Getting a guy to like you is not God’s plan for you!

Praying for the guy whom God has designed for you is!

Just because you had sex with a guy does not mean you are in love. It also doesn’t mean he loves you. Prostitutes have sex all the time. There is no love involved!

What it really means is that you have no self-worth, self-control and you were naïve and foolish enough to listen to the lies he was telling you. You lacked the self-discipline to say NO!

Ladies, want to know the true test of a man? He is the man who is willing to sacrifice and wait! (This does not give you the right to push him to see if he is true to his word. Play the game fair!)

Ladies, you need to remain pure. The gift God gave you can only be given once. It is special and for a special time. Don’t waste it on a temporary lapse of hormone overload!

Remaining Pure – is not only limited to sex. But unfortunately it all leads to sex.

Your actions, thoughts, words, indulgences, and your attire, all reflect your character as a woman.

Is your lifestyle portraying purity?

In order for you to fully understand how to be pure you have to know a few known facts!

1 – Men will never figure women out.

2 – Women will never figure men out.

         Because we think and act differently, we process things differently!

Guys are visual and are conquers – We think in terms of logic - we are stimulated by the things we see and we always want to fix things, people and systems.

Women – EMOTIONAL!! They think with their hearts, having their emotions heightened stimulates them.

Girls look at Belle and Edward in the Twilight series and say, Awww! That’s so romantic!

Guys look at those two and say cool…now go and kill a cow and drink its blood!!

Why do you think Belle is attracted to Edward, because he is playing on the emotional level with her?

Why is this a need to know? Ladies, Don’t advertise what you are not selling. Do your part in helping guys stay pure.

When a guy sees (key word) a model or any glimpse of a body part that is meant to be sacred – he plays it in his head over and over. Where does sin start? In the mind! It has a tendency to have consequences in their current and future relationships.

Is that Sexist? No!

But….Men should be able to control themselves.

It works the same way for women too! The guy is nice, he’s attractive, he’s sweet, he pays attention to you and this goes on and on. Then you find out some way or shape or form he is interested in another girl. You get bent out of shape. But not once did he ever tell you he loved you or was intentional about escalating a relationship with you. Your perception of his motives was skewed. Just as a man’s when you dress in ways that are a little revealing.

It takes two mature people to make the world go round.  I do know that God made women attractive and good-looking so as to draw men to them. That was also His design. 

Men – Women are not a human buffet line! Respect a women and her right to be comfortable. If she makes you feel uncomfortable then either let her know or go somewhere else!

Contrary to popular belief, men – not every woman you meet, “Wants you.” So stop treating them that way! Most women think you are eh…so-so! They are waiting to see how you handle your emotions and see what matters most to you!

AND they can figure that all out within 5 minutes of a conversation. So stop flattering yourselves!!

There is a tragedy that happens when people start compromising with sex or sexual suggestions whether it is actual sex or in the way we dress, what we see on the Internet, movies, TV shows or blatant porn. The tragedy is that we become desensitized to the consequences of the sin pattern.

 Something people do not realize is that if you have multiple partners, watch porn, or fantasize while indulging in self-gratification (masturbation), it creates an unrealistic expectation in your relationship that your spouse cannot contend with. When he or she does not live up to that expectation then anger and discontentment grow in the marriage and usually what happens is that the satisfaction is sought outside the marriage/ relationship.

This is why remaining pure and saving yourself for marriage is so important.

How do we remain pure in a society, which has become desensitized to the importance of marriage?

1 - Avoid it!

1 Corinthians 6:15-20

15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Flee, run, turn the other direction and get out of dodge!!

Girls – Be careful in your alone time! Do not obsess over what the world tells you what you should act, look and talk like! 9/10 times they are lies!! Do not obsess over you body hair and sexual emptiness! It is Satan trying to whisper in your ear that you are entitled to something.   All good things will come to you in God’s perfect timing. When it does it will be more satisfying than you ever thought possible!

Guys – Keep yourselves accountable. It is not weakness; it is a sign of maturity and of good moral fiber!

The world will always tell you what you need to look like, act like, and smell like. You need to tell the world that you are God’s favorite kid!

Ephesians 2:10

10For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

And not only that but you are beautifully and wonderfully made!

Second thing we need to do to remain pure is:

2 - Watch how you be you!

Sexual abstinence is just the tip of the iceberg. Remaining pure is a lifestyle! It includes everything you say, think and do.

Guys – Avoid “puffy talk” Ladies are not property! They are not slabs of meat. And you are not God’s gift to women!! That was Christ and He is still holding that title and is not interested in giving it to you!

Girls - Avoid gossip and unhealthy conversations. Don’t lead men on and treat them like you are in control because you have what they want. It is not attractive and is not how God designed you as a woman. You are God’s Gift to men!

Genesis 2:18

18The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The most romantic passage in the entire Bible:

Marriage in its purest form:

Genesis 2:20b-23

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23The man said,

      “This is now bone of my bones

      and flesh of my flesh;

      she shall be called ‘woman,’

      for she was taken out of man.”

The rib, meaning equal – Not the head and not the foot!

We need to strive to remain pure!

Why? Because in marriage we are supposed to be a reflection of Christ – Totally unashamed, Totally vulnerable, and Totally self-sacrificing.

Jesus’ relationship with His bride (the church) was all three of these things. When we look at the cross we see he was Totally unashamed, Totally vulnerable, and Totally self-sacrificing.

Start making changes in your life today that will reflect Christ tomorrow!

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